I’ve never posted here, simply I just want someone to talk to is all. I’m a 21 year old male but I’ve never felt masculine. I put on a masculine act when I’m around family or friends, but it doesn’t make me feel complete. I have brought up the topic to my mother in the past and she doesn’t see anything wrong with men wearing women’s clothing – in fact she thinks it’s ‘cool’. But.. I’ve never told her that I wanted to be that way, mainly for the aspect that I don’t want to disappoint her. I know that I’m an adult and can make my own choices, but – she wanted a boy which I was the boy she wanted. For some background I have two older sisters. Long story short, I don’t know how she’ll react because like I said – she doesn’t know that’s how I want to be. I can’t talk to my father about it, because he passed away many years ago, I can’t talk to my step-father about it, because he’s narrow minded. Anyways, is there any advice on this? I’m just tired of being in the body I’m in, I never wanted it, and I hate every moment of being a male, being identified as one, being seen as one.

….. Thanks in advance.

Hi there, sorry to hear about your struggles. Feelings that the gender you identify with is different to the one that your body looks like are very common indeed, so you are not alone. These feelings may be strong at some times and weaker at other times, but they are obviously very real for you. It is a difficult balance of doing what you feel is right for you and also taking into account the wishes and views of you parents. A confidential chat with one of my counsellors could be really useful for you, or you can come and see me in my clinic and we can chat in private about this? I could also put you in touch with other people with similar feelings if that would help? Dr Webberley

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